Veni, Vidi, Comedi – Seattle

Two of my high school friends, Kenny and Amy, moved away from LA almost two years ago.  They are probably the only people I know who after having moved to LA, chose to move away.  They kind of just decided they wanted a change of scenery, scouted out a few major cities, and fell in love with Seattle.  Since then, they’ve been trying to guilt me into a visit.  So, two weeks ago, I finally fulfilled my promise to them that I’d go see them before the end of the year.  No, I didn’t cut it close at all.

To summarize: (1) this was my first visit to Seattle since I was 10 years old; (2) there isn’t much to do in Seattle (2) except eat, and (3) I had a blast.

Besides the fact that I got to hang out with my friends, I think a big reason why I enjoyed my visit was because of where they live, right in the heart of downtown, three blocks from Pike’s Place.

I caught an early flight out of Orange County and got in an hour before noon on Friday.  The first thing on our itinerary was Pike’s Place which was literally a two-minute walk.

I wasn’t being inappropriate at all.

We basically just ate food from a bunch of different places.  No lie: this joint here served up the best barbecue pork bun I’d ever had. Ever.

So, I saw the huge vat of cheese behind me…

And went inside to order the mac & cheese.

Then we hopped over to this French bakery.

And sat down to enjoy our food.

And just when I thought we were done, Kenny and Amy insisted on stopping by this Russian pastry joint.  I think we only ate half of what we bought.

After stuffing our faces, we dropped by the original Starbucks for a drink.

After grabbing our drinks, while walking off some of the calories consumed, I checked my Facebook on my phone and saw that my friend Jessica had posted, unsolicited, a whole bunch of things I should do in Seattle.  I guess she likes the city.

Among the things she listed was the gum wall.

“Hey, my friend said to check out the gum wall. What’s that?”

“It’s a wall, filled with gum.”

One thing I did intend to check out was the final resting place of my mentor.

Not surprisingly, there were a ton of flowers and presents littered all over the graves.  What’s sad is you had nobodys buried right next to them (as you can see to the left of Bruce Lee’s grave) who probably get trampled when there’s a crowd.

There were a ton of crows in the cemetery.  Kenny pointed out that it was probably because Brandon Lee was here in spirit.

After paying our respects, we walked over to a small park outside a nearby museum.

Yup, that’s the space needle in the background. It’s as ubiquitous as the Washington monument in DC and the . . . smog in LA.

There was also a pretty tall watchtower we climbed up to.

By the time we were done, it was getting dark and we decided to head back to rest up a bit.  But, right before we headed up to their place, I stopped to take a picture with the awesome backdrop.

After recharging a bit, we stopped by a restaurant/bar to meet up with Amy’s co-workers and friends for a quick happy hour drink.

Then we moved on to Amy’s favorite Chinese joint in the Chinatown part of downtown Seattle.  I guess she gets a kick out of the crab.

After stuffing our faces, we grabbed some boba and cabbed it home.  Oh we could have easily walked, but we’re the type of people who don’t enjoy frostbite.  Once we got home, we just vegged out and then passed out.

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The next morning, we tried to get up by 8, but I didn’t wake up until 9.  Poor Amy and Kenny were left to twiddle their thumbs while watching me lay there passed out like a beached whale in the living room.  Once I was up and ready though (5 minutes tops), we were out the door and headed to Portage Bay Cafe, one of Kenny and Amy’s favorite brunch joints.

Notice that the pancake size to human face ratio is quite big.

After brunch, we had no set idea where to go because, well, there’s not much to do in Seattle but eat.  Kenny then made the executive decision to rent a car and drive around.

I don’t remember where we are, but it’s in a nice part of town with a great view.

We also headed out to Freemont to look at the troll under the bridge.  I don’t know why it’s there, but I love it.

I didn’t voice this because they’d have looked at me like I was crazy, but some part of me was really hoping that the troll would move.  I wasn’t demanding he talk to me in a low, gruff voice like one would expect to hear from watching so many fantasy movies.  I was  just hoping for an eye wink or even a slow yawn, moan or groan from his lips, like he’d just woken up from a century-long slumber.  Perfectly rational thoughts of a sane person.

It was barely an hour past our brunch when Kenny got the bright idea to go to Dick’s, apparently, the In & Out of Seattle.  He was absolutely adamant that I have it, even though I was full.  It was first-world, pointless eating, and it pretty much sums up why the terrorists hate us.

I really just sat there for a few minutes before making a move towards the burger.  And in the end, I only ate 70% of it.

Verdict? In & Out still wins as far as fast food burgers go.

After Dick’s, we were grasping at straws trying to figure out what to do, so we took about a 45 minute drive to get to Snoqualmie, a large waterfall southeast of Seattle.  We literally stayed out in the cold for about 6 minutes to take a few pictures, and quickly jumped back into the car.

Then, Kenny got an even better idea to take me wine tasting, about 30 minutes away.  At that point, I was up for anything that didn’t involve eating.

We went to Domaine Ste. Michelle, a popular winery northeast of downtown Seattle.

I can’t say that I liked all of their wines, but their sparkling wine was really good.  So good that I thought I’d pick up a bottle for my friend, Mary, the biggest wine fan(atic) I know.  And I don’t think I have that great of a palette or anything, but my taste buds were right on the money because when the staff went to go look for the bottle, they said there were only three left for sale.

The tasting room was really cute (and I say that in as manly a way as possible) with cool decorations, like this tree.  It made for a lovely portrait.

And not so lovely portraits.

After wine tasting, I had my first “beer tasting” experience at Redhook.  It basically looked like a sports bar, but it was set up for tastings.

I don’t think we finished every single beer because we didn’t want to fill ourselves up for dinner.  We just slowly sipped on each one while watching college basketball on the TVs  (it was right when Indiana hit that crazy shot to beat Kentucky at the buzzer). If we had been drinking our beers with reckless abandon, we would have had to cancel our dinner reservations at Sky City in the Space Needle.

Then, we headed back home to change, digest, and relax a little bit.  And after that, we walked next door – almost literally next door - to hop onto the monorail which goes directly to the Space Needle!

Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!

Every time I see a monorail (not often), I think of that Simpsons episode when Springfield gets a monorail and the entire community becomes enthralled with it.  And of course, who can forgot Homer as the conductor.

You can’t really see it well in this picture, but there are seats for two right next to the conductor which everyone rushes for as soon as the doors to the monorail open.  Sadly, we missed out on the way there.

To tell you the truth, standing under the Space Needle, the structure didn’t look that tall.  But once I started going up the elevator, it seemed plenty high enough.

When we got to the top, the place seemed bustling.  I’m sure it’s a popular destination for dinner around the holidays, never mind for tourists in general.

We were really happy that we somehow got seated at a table that could fit six, and the seats were couches and soft, cushy chairs.  Not all the tables were like that.

Before coming to Seattle, I’d read the reviews for the restaurant warning visitors that it was a tourist trap – crappy food for high prices and a view you can get just by paying for the regular pass to the observatory one floor up.

Well, the part about high prices was right on the money.

But the whole experience was definitely worth it.  You want the same view in the observatory? Sure – go stand outside in 35 degree weather with the cold wind blowing into your face.  I’d rather relax in a comfy seat while feeding myself and enjoying a nice cocktail.  Oh yes, they had fake snow falling, too, right outside the windows.

We shared a basket of clams for our appetizer and it was delicious.  Really really good.  The server totally understood when we asked for more bread – “to sop up the broth?? I got it.”  They gave us a lot of clams and I wouldn’t have minded at all if we’d gotten another order.

Kenny’s braised short rib.

I usually never order braised short rib because it, more often than not, comes out tasting like a mass-produced, under-flavored dish.  But they actually did a good job, especially with the sauce.

Unfortunately, my pork chops were kind of dry.  The seasoning on it was great, but man, it was dry.

So, overall, I’ll have to give the food a 3 out of 5 stars – maybe even 2 out of 5 stars for the prices – but once you factor in the ambiance and the entire experience, it’s easily a 5 out of 5 stars.

On the observation deck, after dinner.

After hanging out for a while on the deck, we decided to head back home, which meant another ride on the monorail.  And, another chance to rush for the front seats.

Success!  And I’m pressing the horn to make the monorail go “HOOOOOT HOOOOOOT!!!”

That was pretty much all the excitement we had for the night because Amy is an old fart, so we decided to just have some wine by the fireplace in the building lobby.

Sadly, it was only right after I purchased the bottle did I realize that I’d have to check it in on the airplane instead of being able to carry it on.  As such, my gift to Mary became a casualty of our consumption.

It was really nice to just wind down and reminisce on old times over some champagne and a warm fire.  All we were missing was a bit of snow.

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The next morning, we went to grab some doughnuts at supposedly the best doughnut shop in Seattle.  It too was only 2 blocks from Amy and Kenny’s place.

From the outside, it really looked like it’d be a hole-in-the-wall establishment.

But the interior couldn’t have been more different.  It was brightly lit, clean and modern, and people were studying on the second floor.

Apparently President Obama loves the place, too.  They had several pictures of him picking up donuts there.

I think the donuts were pretty good – really good, actually, but I’ve definitely had better.  Still, it’s so close that if I lived where my friends live, I’d definitely be a regular (fatass).

Our healthy breakfast consumed, we basically just sat around for another hour or so before having lunch at Serious Pie.

My brother-in-law is the one who told me about this place, and  before going to Seattle, when I texted Amy about it, she replied “oh yah, it’s right across the street from our building.”  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to use up one of my meals in Seattle on pizza when I could be having seafood, but according to my brother-in-law, it was “the best pizza [he'd] ever had” and “it brought tears to your sister’s eyes.”

Kenny and Amy actually hadn’t been there because the place doesn’t accept reservations, and there was always a line outside.  Thankfully, whether because of perfect timing or just pure luck, we only endured a 10 minute wait.

Anyone can see why there’s always a wait – this is all there is to the restaurant.

The open kitchen is actually what you see first as soon as you walk through the front door.

The first thing I noticed about the menu was that it was really limited.  Then, the pizza prices were kind of surprisingly high.  That only raised my expectations even higher.

We started off with the dungeness crab salad because it sounded so refreshing – chilled dungeness, satsumas, and cranberry citron relish.

Delicious.

Then, we ordered two pizzas, a sweet fennel sausage with roasted pepper pizza without cheese because cheese does bad things to Amy, and also a buffalo mozzarella pizza.

Sweet fennel sausage with roasted pepper pizza

I’ll say it in bold and italics so whoever is reading this blog will hopefully remember: best pizza I’ve ever had.

Kenny and I basically agreed when after simultaneously taking our first bites, we just looked up at each other and exchanged a wordless, wide-eyed stare.  I can only imagine how much better it’d be with the provolone cheese.  I know that’s saying a lot about how good the pizza is, but I’ll say it again and again.

The buffalo mozzarella cheese was also very very delicious, but not quite as good as the sausage pizza.

I did get all the cheese I needed from it, though.

With our faces stuffed, we decided to stretch out our stomachs even more at Molly Moon’s, a popular Seattle ice-cream joint famous for their unique flavors.

I tasted a few flavors, including the salty caramel (too salty), but eventually settled on the unappetizing-sounding flavor of balsamic strawberry.  It was, however, delicious.

By the time we finished our ice cream, we only had a few hours before my 6pm flight back to California.

That just meant that we had to hurry to Elliot’s Oyster House on the pier.

Nice view out onto the water.

You  know, I was expecting Seattle seafood to be extra cheap, but it wasn’t.  I’d say that it’s just more prevalent everywhere you go, but prices aren’t any different compared to what you’d pay in LA.

They definitely had their variety down at Elliot’s.

We really didn’t have much time, and we were still full from lunch and ice cream, so we just had an oyster sampler with some drinks.

Amy actually doesn’t regularly eat raw foods, but she makes occasional – very occasional – exceptions for oysters, provided they’re not too briny.

I guess she thought these were.

I could have easily sat there and had a few (dozen) more oysters by myself, but I just didn’t have enough time.  So, we had to head back.

We did stop by this famous chocolate shop on the way back.  Apparently, our President also gets chocolates shipped from here.

The place looks more like a damn high end duty free shop instead of a chocolate shop.

And sadly, all too shortly, that was my trip.

Amy and Kenny, thanks for the hospitality and using up one of your precious weekends to take me around and show me the sights.  I’ll definitely be back again sooner rather than later.  After all, you helped make Seattle my second-favorite city in the U.S.